lesbian family | twomamastwobabies

There are many. She’s tenacious and she’s fiercely intelligent and she’s brave and she never stops learning and she forces me to be social sometimes and she cooks and she’s tall and she’s beautiful. Also, she takes care of me.

I don’t think I’ve discussed it at length here, but I know one of the reasons I feel a little desperate to become pregnant is it means a light at the end of my job tunnel. I’m a dog groomer and have been one for about 16 1/2 years. For most of my career, I worked in California where the days were brutally long and over the years, I developed some physical ailments, most notably tendonitis and carpal tunnel, not to mention the continued strain on my already hurt back. Dog grooming is a hard, physical job, let me tell you and ours is an industry of no sick days, no paid time off, and no benefits. Well, the clientele isn’t as plentiful here in Oregon and I generally don’t work such long days so the toll on my body has slowed a bit in the last few years.

However…

I’ve reached a point where I no longer want to do what I do. I work in a pretty drama-filled environment and it’s starting to take a toll on me emotionally. I’ve thought about looking for a job elsewhere, but the fact of the matter is, this area is saturated with groom shops and there isn’t anywhere else I could work and make the money I do. Money we currently need. I’ve often thought about striking out on my own, but again – the area is saturated. And the time and money needed to build my own business is an scenario we simply cannot afford. So I go to work and put my head down and get through the days.

Part of our baby plan has always been for me to take at least 3 months off work after a baby is born and then I’d go back to work for a just a couple days a week until eventually, I’d work 5 days a week again and our kid would go into daycare. But due to my wife’s increases in pay here and there, an impending promotion, and the fact that we’re slowly but surely getting bills paid off, more and more the idea of me not going back to work at all has been discussed. It’s always been an exciting prospect for me, but one I’m also a little uncomfortable with only because I’ve been working since I was 14 years old and have supported myself for so long, the idea of not working is a strange one.

But I’ve also always said I didn’t want to have kids unless I could stay home with them. Because I grew up with a mom that worked full time, was raised in daycare from the time I was 6 weeks old, and when she left my brother’s dad and we moved into a new house, I became a 10 year old kid who was home alone every afternoon after school. I can still remember how I would have given anything for my mom to have there to pick me up from school or at least be home when I was done with school.

Anyway, I was having a particularly difficult day at work today and was texting my wife about it. This was her response to me:

Even if it turns out we can’t afford to not have me work, I love my wife so much for these words.

We’ll see how it goes. The prospect of not having to work, of being able to be a stay-at-home mom, is one that’s super exciting for me. It would be the icing on the cake, so to speak. Things would be tight, don’t get me wrong. We’d have to continue to budget very, very carefully and we wouldn’t be able to take any kind of big vacations, but we could very possibly pay our bills and have a nice little life on my wife’s income alone. Some people dream of much bigger, more exciting things, but being able to be there for and to raise a child always been a dream of mine. As has having a partner who supported that dream.

She takes care of me, my wife. I am so grateful for her.

Now if I could just get pregnant! I’m counting the days until our appointment with the RE. Just one more week…

I was looking through some folders on my computer just now and came across some pics of my wife and me (me with long hair even!) through the years. I’m generally not one to post a lot of personal photos (especially of myself), but I thought I’d share a few here. I hope no one minds. 🙂

Our 3rd date, SF Pride ’09:

6 months after we met, we moved out of California together and in with each other. That was a rough year, but we made it:

We registered as domestic partners in our home state 2 years ago and had a gathering of local friends and family. The following year, we were legally married in New Hampshire surrounded by friends and family from all over.