As I sit and type this, both kids are asleep in their beds. This is a relatively new occurrence that has now happened a few times and goes a loooooooong way to saving my sanity. I needed this gift today.
Hattie Bowen is 3 months old (tomorrow) already. Wtf. She’s a HAPPY baby, you guys. It’s amazing. She smiles pretty readily for basically anyone, but saves her best, biggest smiles for me and for her big brother. She talks A LOT and is happy to lay on the bed in the mornings while we get dressed, talking and cooing and squealing. It’s so adorable, I can barely stand it. She’s super strong, already has fantastic head control and likes to lock her knees and stand up tall when you hold her. This girl wants to move, and I suspect she’ll be turning over any day now. She sleeps! And as stated above, I can put her down for naps! It’s life-changing. Yesterday, she napped in her crib for an hour and twenty minutes. Declan didn’t do that until we was over 10 months old. This past week, I’ve started consistently putting her down in her crib at night when we go to bed, too, and she generally sleeps up to an hour and a half before waking and wanting a boob. One night it was 8 minutes shy of two hours! Once she’s in bed with us, she wakes no more than 2 times and goes right back to sleep once I switch sides and pop a boob back in her mouth. She’s a feisty thing when she’s hungry; don’t make her wait to eat or else she sounds like an angry screech owl. I love her fiercely.
Declan is truly the best big brother we could have ever hoped for. He loves his little sister so much and always wants to hug her and kiss her. It’s darling. He’s pretty good about playing independently when I need him to but is also very eager for my attention as soon as he sees I have free hands. He talks allll the time. He told me he loves me yesterday when I gave him a hug. I about died. He’s SUPER into learning letters right now so we spend a lot of time reciting the alphabet for him and he repeats each letter as we go through them. We also sing the alphabet song and read his favorite ABCs book over and over. He really likes to figure out how things work, will ask what all the parts of certain things are called and likes to tinker with things to see how parts work together. He vastly prefers to follow directions – we have a Lincoln Log set and he only ever wants to build the house that the directions help you build. My MIL built her own design yesterday, but didn’t use all the blocks, and that clearly distressed him. He’s very 2 right now in an exhausting way at play dates – there’s more shoving and throwing and hitting than I’d like as he plays with his friends and they all navigate the concept of sharing and taking turns. I’m a huge advocate of letting kids work stuff out themselves, but things get physical fast at this age and while my sensitive boy is absolutely an offender, he reacts VERY emotionally when he gets hit or pushed. It’s exhausting for me when I’m also trying to also tend to an infant and can’t necessarily be right there to assist him. Oh, my sensitive boy. Thankfully, we have an awesome community of like-minded families to hang out with and all of the mamas have been so kind in assisting both of us. He starts preschool in a couple months and I think it’s going to be so good for him for more than one reason.
Life with two kids is intense. It’s easier is some ways than I’d imagined and harder in others. I think the hardest thing is how physically and emotionally depleted I feel. I have like ZERO capacity for anything other than keeping the kids happy and alive every day and I feel like at at any given point in the day, I’m simply longing for bedtime. I want go badly to get out and do more, but it still feels impossible with 2 and though play dates with other mamas are a GREAT option, it’s SO exhausting to get out the door, try to manage both, and then get home, generally because by then, both are screaming because they’re hungry and tired. To be perfectly frank, sometimes I question if I’m truly up for being the stay at home parent of two kids, but ultimately, I know thoughts like that are simply part of the adjustment of going from one to two kids. I feel flustered and overwhelmed pretty much all the time lately. I think it’s normal, though. And seeing how they look at each other really does make it all worth it, but I long to get back to things being bit easier again as Hattie grows.
It’s funny how quickly it all becomes your norm, even the constant state of exhaustion. People always ask me how Declan likes being a big brother and I laugh and say he adores it and that for him, it’s like Hattie has always been here. But honestly, it’s like that for me, too. It often feels odd to think he’ll have no memory of being the only child, but I didn’t think our family was quite complete before Hattie. And now it is. ❤