The elusive O and getting fit (or thereabouts)

Well, it would appear that I have NOT ovulated yet. Not based on my temps. They’re still below my cover line despite having 2 positive OPKs 2 and 3 days ago. I haven’t been internally checking for CM (or CF) – what I did record on this chart was what I saw externally only (what I saw on toilet paper):

Image

I think I may splurge for the digital OPKs for the next cycle.

I got on my scale this morning and I’ve gained back, in 3 months, half the weight it took me a year to lose. Yeah, time to get back to eating better and working out. I know the BMI is bullshit and not an accurate measurement of health by any means, but it’s still harsh to know one’s weight and BMI makes them “clinically obese”.

Last night was my first night going to bootcamp. I went for a few months a couple years ago or so and it kicked my ass and I hated it, but it SUCH a good workout and metabolism booster. So I’m at it again. It kicked. my. ass. Run then run some more then to cruches and then do planks and then run and then do spidermans and then run and then do bridges and then run and then jumprope and then run and jumprope and run and jumprope and then cruches and then situps and then diagonal crunches and then run some more. Omg. I’m so sore today. It’s a beginner’s bootcamp this time around so only meets 2 days a week versus 4, but it’s still pretty intense. But I figure it’ll make going back to a regular gym routine afterward super easy. Haha. I’ve also started using the Wii Fit game and board I recently bought on Craigslist.

Oh! I made my first acupuncture appointment for next Tuesday at noon.

So. Progress. Slow but sure.

Ruminating

I’m pretty sure I ovulated today. I’ll know for sure tomorrow, of course, when I take my temp. I didn’t really keep up with the OPKs this cycle, mostly because I enjoyed not having to be bothered. I find it interesting if I did ovulate today, though. More on that in a minute.

I’m really enjoying that The Impatient Woman’s Guide To Getting Pregnantbook I bought. I’m only about halfway through it, but it’s such an easy, uncomplicated read that has thus far reinforced all I’ve already discovered as well as reaffirmed my thoughts and feelings about many aspects of this process. It’s a very comforting read.

We’ve decided to get out donor’s sperm analyzed next month, before our next insemination. He’s young, an athlete, eats well, and doesn’t do drugs, so we didn’t really think it was necessary — and it stall may not be — but there’s a clinic in town that’ll do it for $100 and without a referral, so we decided to just do it. We learned his father had low-to-normal sperm count/motility, so it’s quite possible he does, too, simply because of genetics. He’s agreed, since he’ll be in town for a couple days. He’s a really busy guy that’s only going to be getting busier soon, and I’ve been worried he’s getting tired of all this, but he’s been so great about it and our requests. I could not be more grateful for him.

I’ve got a few “tricks” up my sleeve for the next insemination, too. Just a few extra measures that we didn’t necessarily take the last few attempts:

One, I’ve started a fish oil (omega 3) supplement, 1,000mg/day.

Two, I’m getting back to my exercise routine and eating better (the last 4 weeks have been especially filled with stress and turmoil because of work and the fact that my wife was hurt in a horseback riding incident and hasn’t been able to walk in that whole time, but she’s slowly on the mend! But we’ve been eating out A LOT and I have been too exhausted to even think about working out).

Three, we’re going to use SoftCups after each insemination, to help prevent any accidental leakage.

Four, we’re going to actually use the PreSeed applicators rather than just use a small amount as a lube. I’ve always felt I had enough CM when we’ve inseminated, but perhaps not?

And five, I’ve stopped taking my B6 supplement. Because now that I look back on my first complete charts that made me think I had a short LP and needed to lengthen it, I think I may have jumped the gun. Because my LP hasn’t really changed all that much while taking the B6. I’ve been doing some research and as it turns out, too much B6 can actually delay ovulation and lower your estrogen levels. So I’ve decided to stop taking it to see what happens. One average, I’ve been ovulating on CD15-16 and if I did in fact ovulate today, that would put me at CD12! That’s a pretty big difference, one I generally don’t see from cycle to cycle. I have no idea if it was the lack of 100mg of B6 in my system or what, but I find it interesting. Hopefully “early” ovulation won’t screw up our travel plans for the 4th insemination. As always, we’ll have to wait and see when my period starts (and if my LP is still 10-11 days) and what the predicted ovulation date is when this current cycle is factored in. We’ll most likely be traveling to him, so can be a little flexible in our dates.

I’m still going to look into acupuncture and the craniosacral therapy, too, to help with my stress and anxiety.

Some or all of this may make a difference or it may not. Either way, it helps me a lot to know we’re being proactive. As anxious as I am for the next attempt, I’m also really glad I have another 4 weeks to prepare for it.

Meh.

A lesbian couple that are aquaintances of ours are pregnant again. They got pregnant on their first try the first time a few years ago and again on their second. She miscarried the second pregnancy, but they tried again as soon as they could and got pregnant again.

I want to stomp my feet like a 2-year-old and scream “It’s not fair!”

I know it’s still early for us. I know we shouldn’t worry yet. I know so many others have been TTC for years, not mere months. It’s still difficult.

My aunt bought loads of stuff for a future baby while she was here. It was a little bittersweet, but also lots of fun.

I think I may look into acupuncture to help “boost” my fertility, but more so to help with my anxiety about all of this. I know my anxious state of being isn’t helping this whole process along. Not to mention how utterly stressfullife has been for me these last few weeks for various other reasons. I may also book a session with a craniosacral therapist. My sister-in-law swears by him and his abilities. I figure it can’t hurt.

In the meantime, I have to admit it’ll be nice not to have to worry about it all this cycle!

Blah.

I’d had enough “symptoms” this cycle that I started keeping track of them by DPO, but didn’t post them because I didn’t want to feel stupid if I wasn’t pregnant again.

Funny, even though that list is private, I’m still feeling stupid.

Don’t mind me…I’m just feeling sorry for myself.

4dpo

Well, today came and is almost gone and no nausea to report. Woot! I’m glad. I was worried it would result in full-on vomiting this time around and I just don’t have time for that.

I know it’s technically too early for symptoms, and I feel silly for even mentioning this here because of that, but today I:

  • Felt a pulling, crampy feeling on the left side of my abdomen, about an inch below my belly button. It happened a few times, especially after pressure (I lean my belly/abdomen against a tub to wash dogs all day long).
  • Twice felt a sharp stabbing pain in my left boob. It wasn’t bad and it didn’t last long either time, but it was enough to make me grab my boob and say “Ow.”
  • Was very moody and emotional
  • Was extremely tired and irritable

I really can’t let myself believe these are signs of anything quite yet, but there’s a part of me that feels like something may be trying to happen.

Because our timing was so spot on this time, I know I’ll be really upset if it didn’t work again.

If I don’t get my period next Thursday, I’ll probably wait until that Saturday to test. Coincidentally, my aunt will be in town. The best aunt in the world. The one who pretty much funded our entire wedding last year and who sent this package to “Little B”. I absolutely adore the idea of getting a BFP with her here.

Ugh. Is it next week yet?